tazkirah pagi..

tidak semua itu duniawi. perlu diselitkan ukhrawi sket. keh keh. so i yang takde keje ni bangun pagi2 sesudah subuh (pukol 7 - subuh gajah or not is still considered pagi kot!) would join mak saya bukak tv nonton rancangan tanyalah ustaz. berikut merupakan some tips given by ustaz berkenaan dengan rejeki. walaupon bak kata abang aku yg konon alim, sesungguhnya sebanyak mana rejeki itu telah  pun ditetapkan. kalo nak mintak murah rejeki might as well mintak jadi gajah. u can eat as much as u want. kalo nak panjang umor, Tuhan dah jadikan ko kura-kura. u can live as long as hundreds of years. :-| apakah? bagi aku yang jahil tukil, it doesn't hurt to doa lebeyh sket. tp jgn lah dok doa and just wait hoping your rejeki would fall off the sky and come rolling down to you. exactly what i am doing now. bergolek ke kiri, bergolek ke kanan. keh keh keh. oh sesungguhnya actions speak louder than words. 

so here goes the list. most of them benda2 basic yg ko mmg dah buat tiap2 hari kot. bukannya susah pon. yang jadi susah untuk yang jahil super tukil lah.

• semayang janganlah ditinggalkan. kalo rajin buat yang sunat. tp apakata lengkapkan yg wajib dulu.
• berdoa dan terus berdoa. amalkan membaca surah al-waqi'ah.
• zikir
• ingat mak pak. berbuat baiklah kepada orang tuamu.
• jagalah hubungan antara sedara mara, sepupu-sepapatmu
• metaphorically pi haji slama2nya - pi jmpa org br blk haji kt epot mintak tlg doakan kamu
• pg2 cari rezki ada berkatnya. takdela bgn pg2 golek dpn tv with laptop atas perut kannn.
• kahwin. sesungguhnya rezki wujud dlm suatu perkahwenan itu. - haha. sekiranya kawen itu sungguh senang dan tak pakai duit, mmg hari2 lah aku kawen dgn harapan murah rejeki.
• rezki anak - maka berkahwen dan beranaklah. bukan beranak tanpa berkahwen lantas dibuangnya anak itu. dosa ko dpt, hidup pn tak senang sampai ke tua lah.

how would u know rezki itu berkat?
- bila anda takut nak melakukan dosa. or there's always something stopping you from doing sins. pendek kata terbela mcm i lah. keh keh keh.
- rezki sempit bila dh buat dosa.

sesungguhnya ini semua dicedok dr tanyalah ustaz.on a side note,

• jom heboh akan dtg ke kota bharu! haha. i hate watching si karam ngan stupid apek mana tah cube kecek klate dgn gagal nya kt tv. 
• si kacak aaron aziz skali tgk dah mcm a better-looking version of abg phd yg buat architecture di satu university itu.
• one nation emcees is obviously a bad malay version BEP rip-off. jelek sungguh aku lihat.

inilah hasil bgn pagi2 jumaat. haihhhh.

it's good to be home...

in fact it's the greatest feeling of all.. mmm probably to me at the moment la kot. kalo kamu suffer from constipation, the best feeling would be after taking a good satisfying big dump. my kreji sister who sometimes experienced difficulty in going number two would always exaggerate that it's better than orgasm after doing so. haha.  kalo kamu in a long bus journey and u are in desperate need to pee, you'll feel really grateful that you thank the LORD above and the bus driver for having mercy on you, stopping the bus at RnR and letting you release your liquid excretory product. been there, done all that.

tp right now at this finest moment, i'm just really glad to be home. back at my hometown, tana tumpa dara terchenta as Samy Vellu would say it. keh keh keh. i just came back last week as i 've been away from home for more than a year. was brought up in the same house, at the very same street, since i was born and spent all my childhood days and pubescent years nowhere else other than my house. my humble abode yang dipagari knee-high lalang, dikelilingi pokok rambutan serta pokok-pokok pisang, is the best place to breed all sorts of slimy, poisonous creatures and  blood-sucking insects and probably makhluk2 that shouldn't be mentioned. maka banyak lah nyamak menchangak angak di atas pokak2 di luar rumah tua ku.

no matter how tua and buruk the house is, it always holds the dearest place in my heart. im attached to it. oh well who don't?  i mean to their own house, of course. i even recorded  on my phone the surrounding of my house when i came back once in a while for my viewing pleasure when feeling homesick. but most of the time i had to remove the videos and replace 'em with mp3s. haha.

i don't know about others, but when i'm at home, i tend to wake up early and won't sleep, not until later at night. i guess staying with your mom and listening her nagging in the early hours deprive you of the privilege of sleeping until noon. i can't just get my mom's words out of my head. "bangunla mek weh. ore laing pah ko llangit ija doh." hahha. i'm so gonna use the sentence to my kids in future.

first thing when i wake up in the morning, i look at the window in the room and get this special kind of familiar feeling. a feeling you're at home and you know you're at home. it's the kind of peace and serene feelings that i just don't get somewhere else. later around 7-8 am there will be the usual noise of bikes, cars and school kids passing by my house to get to the nearby school. not that i enjoy the sound which is sometimes annoying. but hey, it's something i've had endured for years.

i'd open the window and could feel the cool, breezy, morning air rushing in brushing my skin and hear different species of birds chirping their own distinctive tribal songs. there's this type of bird that sounds like chanting a malay boy's name to my ears. 'syukri, syukri, syukri.' or burung yang sungguh la sayu bunyi nya sayup-sayup kedengaran yang kadang-kadang aku rase nak ketuk mampos pasal u sound so freaking sad maybe i should just help you rest in peace. and in the wee hours, you could hear the woodpecker breaks the silence of the night faintly in the distance. sungguh la mengembalikan memori lama, yang luka maupon yang tak luka.

kadang-kadang, malam-malam i just like to sit outside menghirup udara nyaman malam while enjoying the starlit night and feeding those blood-suckers. luckily enough there's not much light pollution around and those pokok-pokok and semak-samun help to block lights from neighbors' houses so that i can enjoy my night counting stars peacefully. oh well, not really. not when you have to bertepuk-tampar with nyamak2 yang banyak itu.

i think sometimes, most city-dwellers, if not all, don't really appreciate nature. they indulge too much with social  activities and got caught up with their busy lives. terlalu mengejar mengejar duniawi... and that is the reason why aku dok golek-golek menikmati my slow-paced, complacent life kampung-style before i got busy with job demands later on. haha. alasan tak boley belah!

cliche-ness of drama-drama melayu

i know this subject has probably been all over other blogs or topic of discussions. but recently i spent so much time watching tv i can't help but ramble on about the known facts of drama mlayu.

- they stop their cars in the middle of the road, highway, bridge, under the hot sun to discuss super important love matters. can't it wait?

- businessmen can be seen having breakfast at home wearing whole 2-piece-suit, then ride in their flashy cars with driver, still in suits to office. i can clearly see manik2 peluh on your face. cair mekap bang

- the rich ones ride their convertible flashy cars with roof down. seriously? tgh2 panas lagi, berhabuk. legam la muka u datin.

- recently they're trying to produce serial dramas of over 100 episodes with so many irrelevant scenes, termenung scenes, menangis scenes, sakit perut scenes yang dipanjang2 kan e.g. na-o-mei. if in the real world, pesakit perut berkenaan dah selamat ditanam, ditalkin kot! luckily i haven't come across scenes which closely focused muka pelakon dengan mata terjegil repeatedly just to emphasize their emotions or bad intentions like those in sinetron endon.

-  the age difference between pelakon2 who play mother-daughter parts is less than 10 yrs in real life. e.g. zizie izette (mak) and nabila huda (anak) in drama sari maya. or aznah hamid (mak siti hawa/nora danish) who looks as 'young' as the lady who played a part as her mother (nenek siti hawa/nora danish) in sumpahan bunian. please kind sir, tell me! in which universe do mothers and daughters look sebaya? even with botox or plastic surgery, they'd still look ages apart. at least orang cakap sisters. hm probably in bunian's world at some point of age, they just stop aging and retain whatever conditions they have just before the aging process halted. why people, why? have all the pelakon drama gone extinct?

- late 20's or women in 30's play anak dara sunti yang masih tergedik2 mencari hala tuju. O.EM.JI! buruk laku kot org tua tergedik2. seriously. kamu tepek bedak 10 inchi tebal pon gagal menutup kematangan muka kamu. again. why people? pelakon2 remaja kelihatan seperti toddlers? tak layak melakonkan those teenagers' parts?

- anak gadis kampung parts. why must they all have long hair down, with selendang yang mcm kain kelambu tersangkut, melenggang kangkung di tengah bendang. read: drama aliff hapatah on tv3. that's when people say oh itu sungguh cliche skali.

shizzz i watch too much tv. somebody kindly kick me in the arse.

schtoopid headline

Seluk payudara

Oleh Mohd Firdaus Ibrahim dan Muhammad Apendy Issahak
am@hmetro.com.my
2010/03/09

KUALA LUMPUR: “Saya dipijak, diheret dan ditendang tanpa belas kasihan lebih 30 minit. Tidak cukup dengan itu mereka juga menyeluk payudara saya,” kata Salmah Salleh, 57, menceritakan detik cemas dia disamun dua lelaki diketuai kanak-kanak lelaki berusia 12 tahun di rumahnya di Bandar Tun Razak di sini, Jumaat lalu. 

http://www.hmetro.com.my/myMetro/articles/Selukpayudara/Article/index_html

haha. seriously? tabloids.. they have always managed to sensasi kan their headlines. and what's more impressive (or there lack of) they managed to get scoop2 sensasi which are not published on other newspapers. (apparently i couldn't find sensional on cambridge dictionary) kan dah rojak di situ. walopon from my personal view, the headlines and isi kandungan berita agak low di situ, i still enjoy reading tabloids for the lulz. haha. does that mean i am one low unemployed bum? hehehe.