today i went through some sort of divine intervention. hehe tade divine intervention manenye lah. it's just that i came to a realization. normally after each prayer i'd pray for what most people ask for from Allah, Tuhan yang tidak memungkiri janji, and that includes getting a better job with a big pay.
and this morning i came to question myself how big of a salary is actually big. how do you define a big salary. as for me, i have no specific number for that as i know God knows best and He knows what's best for me. when u dont have an idea of how much a big pay is to u, tht will be a bit of a problem later. that is if iman anda senipis kulit bawang mcm kawam. u tend to compare with what your peers are making and the feeling of dissatisfaction will slowly creep in.
yes i admit that my last pay was below my expectation. i merely accepted the job in the first place since i needed money for my 9-mth-wedding-preparation. however, how so very small my pay deemed to be (or at least to me), i managed to save enough money for the wedding, and to buy brg hantaran, with some help from family of course. but what most important is i didnt owe any bank just to get married. i dont even have a credit card. the fact that i dont shop like crazy like most women do also helps. oh yeah i am very the kemut in that sense but i dont care. i ony buy wat's necessary without ignoring my appetite for good food. i seriously cant help it. haha. and with that pay i believe i can afford to pay for housing loan right after i dont have to save for wedding anymore lah kan.
when u dont have any specific number in mind, o believe me even if u earn a really big salary it will never be enough. this holds true to some people if not all. i've seen someone with 3 children in public school, earning 5-figure monthly salary still fretting over the money he'd have to fork out once the new school term began. seriously pakcik. where have all your money gone? i dont see you're driving a fancy car. your earnings should be able to cover your house loan. unless ko ade seploh bijik rumah. plus, you're not the sole breadwinner pon. if that's the case, i wont be able to even get married, let alone start a family with my pay now. haihhhh.
now that only i realize about it, i might need to make some changes in my daily prayer. instead of saying oh dear Lord, please grant my wish. help me get a job with big pay, i should have said i hope to get a job that i love doing with a good salary enough for everything, enough to get going with my new life, new family. enough is the word. it helps you getting the satisfaction you seek. you might get lower salary than your peers, as long as it is enough to pay your bills, to buy necessities, to pay your due, then why fret? rezki Allah dtg in different ways. it might not come as a big sum of cash.
as a mean version of me would say, o that's just the saying of someone who couldn't do better. haha. erm maybe. or maybe not. at least kawam cube bersyukur dgn apa yg ada here. haha. wahahaha.
speaking of enough, my mom told me about some makcik she knew who worked at a canteen. once this makcik who was pregnant at the time saw a kid with tangan kudung and was taken aback. makcik ckp mintak2 anak aku lebih. i met her daughter when i was a kid. mmg lebih lah. it could be kebetulan maupon suratan. but you seriously need to really beware of what u wish for.
p/s: i ve been having headache/migraine since yesterday. i am so thankful it's gone now. wohhhoooo.
