Memori Daun Pisang...

Pernah tak anda bersendirian untuk satu jangka masa lebih daripada satu hari. away from your family? what sort of things came across your mind? your mind could wander the deepest part of your brain. semua cerita lama keluar. yang indah atau tak, bergantung sejauh mana anda mahu mengingatinya.

being away and being alone could get you feel lonely. boleh mengingatkan anda kepada perkara2 manis. perkara manis berkait pula dengan kisah cinta zaman remaja. yang declare atau pon hanya crush. bila menyedari diri sudah berpasangan, berumah tangga, anda cuba mengalihkan perasaan manis itu terhadap pasangan anda. menguatkan lagi rasa rindu anda terhadap pasangan. 

namun bila berakhir tugasan, tiba masa untuk pulang ke pangkuan keluarga. rasa kemanisan tak sempat sampai kemuncak, terpadamkan oleh perasaan menyampah, bila perasaan itu tidak berbalas dek pasangan who take things for granted. yang merasakan ini semua sudah tidak perlu. huh.. sambung reminiscing the good old days just to make yourself feel better. terus melupakan perasaan menyampah dan ignore saja yang dekat di sebelah. terkenangkan mereka yang pernah berbekas di hati, bisa buatkan anda menguntum senyum sendiri. haihhhh... moga Tuhan kuatkan iman di dalam diri, dari terus hanyut dibuai memori. shaythoonnn semua ni.

Di celah-celah kehidupan versi belog: Menantu from H311

Salam Ramadan Kareem. Sadar tak sadar, sudah 14 ramadhan. Managed to be up early today after 14 days fasting. Ye bennerrrr! Bukan utk tahajjud. Utk final world cup, yo. Not that I’m proud of that. Just stating that perkara2 duniawi that actually can push you to do something that ko liat nak buat sblm ni. Moga2 hambaMu ini istiqamah utk bgn malam lantas bertahajjud padaMu ya Allah starting tomorrow.

As of now, both german and argentina nil yo. Hope it doesn’t boil down to penalty. Argentina kuat main defend. Only after 30 mins, baru serang. Defend german sgt lemah, but nasib selamatkan depa, and I’m rooting for german yang agak sengal main hari ni. Magis not yet kicked in. Argentina’s keeper is good but cocky. 

 Referee sgt manis and tonggek bontotnya.

And I still find german coach sexy with his jet black hair.

Wow intro sampai 2 perenggan and yet ini jauh dari isi-isi pentingnya. Heh. Hari ini hari ahad. Hari ahad akhbar lagi tebal dari kebiasaan. Utusan Malaysia versi ahad or Mingguan Malaysia ada segment di celah2 kehidupan (DCCK). It was there since for-evaaa. Saya amat minat membaca segment ini sedari kecil. Haaa. Ni baru intro yg common di segment dcck and also the real intro for this entry. Today’s piece is almost similar to what happen to one family. Similar yg cemana? (*update bola: ref mcm not in favour with argentina. YES!) Btw, back to the topic. Saya lampirkan link dcck utk minggu ini and try to relate with my own experience. (http://utusan.com.my/utusan/Keluarga/20140713/ke_01/Suami-rimas-isteri-hipokrit)

In the piece attached, si suami sgt meluat perangai isteri yang hipokrit. Berpura-pura menyukai  MIL namun kerap-kali meluahkan perasaan tidak puas hatinya terhadap MIL, terhadap suami yg once in while mengeluarkan belanja kepada emaknya dan isteri menzahirkan perasaan jeleknya ini kepada suaminya in private, when there were only two of them. Sedangkan her MIL has no clue tentang menantunya yang ‘cantek’ perangainya ini dan terus menyayangi dan menganggap sbg menantu yang baik. What do people call this kind of menantu anyway? How does the husband retaliate? He went to find teman tp mesra (TTM) yang boleh menerima ibunya seadanya, still contemplating of marrying his new TTM and keep his B*tchy wifey.

Kalo isteri yang selalu dibelasah suami, masih teragak2 untuk tinggalkan the husband dan takut ditinggal suami kerana tidak punya kerja, takde source of income langsung, anak pulak berduyun-duyun. Ok, that one is acceptable. Tp kalo yang cerdik pandai, ada kerja bagus asyik jadi mangsa belasahan suami, lagi mahu defend the husband, itu BODOH! I however do wonder what makes a husband berat hati to dump a bitchy wife’s ass like in DCKK. But you can read the husband’s justification in the artikel lah. (*yesss!! One goal for germany!! Now I have to sujud syukur later.)

In my case, perangai ‘cantek’ of the wife is well known to the close family. She managed to makan kuih talam with distant family, and they somehow adore her. (*aannnnddd germany is the world cup champion. The coach is still hooottss!) Why do they adore her so much? Cause she’s quite chatty, and we’re not. We as much as possible try not to talk bad about her or bawak cerita2 buruk pasal fake hipokrit  wife (FHW) – note that I am trying my best not to call her names. Mana tahu dia jumpa belog misterius aiolls, kata aku dengki pulak. Saya hanya coretkan benda yang jadi without memaki hamun nya, eventhough I am so keen to do so.

Similar to the artikel in DCKK, the wife perangai ‘cantek’ and she doesn’t respect her MIL. The difference is the MIL knew it since FHW had her first child and that never changes sampai anak dah hamper setengah dozen. Lepas beranak anak pertama, agaknya royan lah kot, she screamed her lungs out knowing that her husband just bought his mother a new fridge. Alaa peti bukan yg besar pintu rumah tu. Peti yang ala2 cukop la nk isi barang since the old fridge yang umurnya lagi tua dari aiolls masa tu, dah kurang menyejuk.  Dia marah pasal xleh belikan mak die skuter. At least in DCCK, the wife is working. Yang ni dh la tak kerja, nak marah org pasal die tak boleh belikan mak dia skuter.

Kalo nak sangat beli skuter kat mak hang, asal tak kumpol duit elaun laki ko bg yg ko bangga2 sgt tu, belikan mak hang skuter. Weird royan lady. Can you imagine that? She did that not just in front of her MIL, depan GMIL as well. Days before that dah moncong bila her husband bawak her first newborn child pi jumpa tok guru untuk tahnik. Masa tu her husband’s aunty ada sekali. Cantek ke tak perangai mcm teeww? Dah baru menikah baru anak first dah kurang hajo, tak tahu malu, takde rasa hormat. Masa tu assume die meroyan ajelaa. Kata baru pas beranak, kan.

Yet the MIL never complains, melainkan kekadang cita rasa sedih dapat menantu ‘cantek’ camtu dekat anak2 je. Sabarrrr jewww, so long her son is happy with FHW. Kami yang menggelegak, yet can’t do much, obeying the mother not to cari pasal and still maintain muka natural whenever we met. Tapi since die beranak every other year, meroyan dia tak habis2. Tapi jelekk kot. Jelek ya amat. Sapa tak jelek, ko dah kena nasik kangkang kot. Dah bertawun2 menikah tak reti nk insap. Dah nak masuk 40 lagi sukar nak insap. Dh kena makan buah salak ritu, insap la kejap. We tried to accept her la and start all over again, take it as nothing happen. Buat mcm adek beradek kandung, bila nampak dia mellow down lepas kena talak sekali. Tp tak payah turun deep sangat, I know she’d never change. Dah tua Bangka camtu, dah sebati, memang sukar nak berubah. And she proved me just that.

This FHW, bukan setakat suka meroyan, suka jerit2 kat org bila tak kena dengan hangin dia. Dia juga suka laga2 kan orang. Hasut semua org not to like the husband’s family. Dia kata, the hubby’s family is parasite. Nak menompang laki dia. Oucchh! She once came to the MIL, being her chatty self, cuba2 korek2 cerita about other menantu. A vulnerable single parent like her MIL masukla perangkap dia. Keluar la cerita sikit2 yang mana dia rasa tak berkenan pada menantu yang lain. Cara dia – dia keluarkan cerita dia dulu nak pancing the MIL, and she got what she wanted lah. Oh well, cuba ckp MIL mana yg tak buat mcm tu. Especially bila dipancing. 

But again as I mentioned before, this FHW is kuih talam bermuka dua. Dia pi ke biras dia, berceghita betapa the MIL, and their in-laws tak puas hati dgn si biras. As if dia takde menokok-tambah betapa dia sendiri pon tak puas hati dgn berasnya. And she did just that in front of my face. I remembered that time in particular when we went to do groceries shopping togede2. Mungkin dia rasa aku bdk2 tak campur hal org tua. Or dia ingat aku duk kat blkg keta, pekak tak dengar depa dok depan keta borak2. Yang si BERAS1 takleh pikir cemana si FHW tahu cerita MIL tak puas hati kalo bkn FHW yg pancing. Unless, the MIL is famous for bawak cerita2 buruk semua orang and tell the world about it, or at least at other time pi cerita kat BERAS1 pulak betapa buruknya perangai FHW, which she is SO NOT! And since then berantakanlah hubungan the hubby’s family and the in-laws. Thanks so much to FHW!

Situasi tak berubah ke arah kebaikan dengan BERAS1 and beliau sudah terkeluar dari cerita ni. FHW had approached BERAS2 and trying to approach the rest of the berases. I hope BERAS2 won’t get to the same ending as BERAS1. Recently FHW meroyan lg after the first talak. This time she disrespected her MIL big time not to attend an important family function. Her reason: dia marah laki dia bg anak sedara tumpang keta utk blk sama2 for that big event, coz she already said NO the first time. And I insisted the SIL to go and ask her brother directly. Why went and ask FHW in the first place? Orang mcm tu is a gone case. Cannot be hel-PED. Dah tak de rasa malu. Dah hilang rasa hormat dekat kita. Org tgh buat event dlm masjid depan ramai2 strangers, boleh nak terpekik2 bertekak.

So tell me dear reader (as if ada reader sangat lah kan), just give me only one good reason as why should we keep this kind of creature among us? As to me, apa aku dpt bercerita kat sini? Nak buka pekung di dada? Geram kot. Dah even dgn distant family yg mmg memuja2 FHW ni dah tak boleh nak cerita dah. Tu mmg obvious buka pekung kot. Or nanti kata aku dengki. Heh. As if!!

But again for whatever happens around me, I take it as a life lesson. I know I definitely don’t want to be tak malu, uncivilized like FHW to my MIL. Duhai laki ko nak beli gajah, rimau dkt mak ko, ko belilah. So long I am not deprived of my rights. Cukup makan pakai anak aku. Jangan nak gila royan tak tentu pasal mcm FHW. Ngeri sioll! Malu ngan in-laws kot.

Akhir kalam, German wins 2014 world cup in Brasil!!

an open letter to a Shitz collector

Dear Ele of SHits collection centre nearby Ampang point,

I don't know what kind of a name is that. Pronounced it as EL and found out from your colleague on my second telcom it is supposed to be ELI. what a thick accent you have there. thought you were Indian. how wrong was i. 

Yes I admit that it was my fault that i just simply ignored that DHL package and couldn't careless to set an appointment with you so that you could collect my shitZ. it was also because i had way much more other important stuff than meeting you just so you could collect my shitZnitZ.

I apologized for that. But then when you seemed not to get over that, then it's clear to me now it's not me. it IS just you! how was it possible for me to meet you at that Shitz centre when I never got the address and direction even after asking for it an umpteenth times. I guess all those shitZ you collected must have gotten to your head.

when you talked to me rudely and hung up your call abruptly on me the other day, i was really furious for a while. almost ruined my day. but then thinking of how you have to come to work everyday and collect other people shitz, i tried my best to understand where you're coming from. 

we finally met, and i finally got to see your unpleasant face.  would have likened it to those shitz you've collected. but then reserved my comments and decided not to go down to your level. so that's where your accent comes from. from some neighbouring country, no? I guess you just don't have self respect. you left your poor-ass province, came here hoping for a better future, maybe wishing to meet some mat salleh got married and live happily ever after. but then you just stuck with collecting other people's shitZ.

if only you just feel grateful that you have a job, you could be less angry with yourself and not to lash out on other people. seriously, if you really hate your job, just leave your job and be somebody else's maid. ooopss still you have to clean people's shitZ. at least with your current job, you can brag with your fellow countrymen that you're working in an office whenever you go out with them loitering at klcc on weekends.

when you dont have self respect, people who come to see you will just see you as shitZ collector.  if only you treat  and respond to  people nicely, you would have earned people respect, despite you're being just a shitZ collector. and i heard it wasn't just me you had problems with. even my colleagues complaint about you. if you continue being like this, you might someday end up buried in those pile of shitZnitz you've collected and will collect for the rest of your life, darlin.

adios.

your truly,

i-peed-coffee